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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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How to feel better AND make a difference

Life Is Hard

I’ve always had a hard time with February. I believe it is a combination of genetics, Pisces, and poor planning by the Department of Holidays, who put all the good stuff BEFORE winter solstice and left us staring down a long bleak empty tunnel of nothing until spring comes in about 17 months.

But this year’s February is a whole new beast. Holy shit!

For the past few years, I’ve deliberately conspired against February and used it to put myself through a fiercely loving regimen of self-care. To make sure that I stuck with it, I would lead a group of women with me. And it was amazing.

Last year, the hardest month ended up being one of the best, because we infused it with bliss and we did it TOGETHER.  We filled it with beautiful outfits and joyful outings and languid hours of guilt-free rest, plus poetry and deep breaths and good food and camaraderie.  And we came through triumphant.

Oh my heavens, dearhearts, THIS YEAR!?!?!?!? 

This year I feel like we don’t have fucking time for bliss. This year we only have time for marching, and calling, and grieving, and activism, and and and and in the meantime my kids still need their diapers changed and then I feel so tired and exhausted that I want to hide away.

So hold up for a minute. We need a better way.

We need a way to be the change we want to see in the world in a sustainable, healthy way so that we don’t burn out and give up too soon.

I’m hearing from so many people that they are overwhelmed, they are exhausted, they are triggered. They wonder if they should just stop reading the news headlines or stay away from social media completely. I’ve seen some posts from people who claim that they’ve hidden all political posts, and now they can return to living life without all that fuss and bother.

I totally get that urge. I do.

But it just won’t do.

Because that isn’t true peace, it’s just hiding.

You GUYS. Our kids are going to ask us about this time. They’re going to ask us what we did; how we responded; what we were made of when they came for our friends and neighbors. Did we join the Order of The Phoenix? Did we do what we could? Or did we just avert our eyes until they knocked on our own doors….when it was too late?

These are the times for courage, not comfort. These are the times for us to keep showing up, and showing up, and showing up. But you can’t do that if you’re empty, drained, just scraping by.

It’s going to take extraordinary strength and grit to keep bringing love when we feel hate. To keep being the light when the darkness grows heavy.

That’s where bliss comes in.

What I want to do is crawl under the covers and eat enchiladas under there.  Not for long, just a few years or so.

But what I am GOING to do is put myself through a loving but fierce regimen of intense self-care and deliberate action to make my world a better place.

Come do it with me. For the month of February. Let’s fill ourselves up while continuing to take action.

Come conspire with me.

It’s free.

No strings.

The Bliss Conspiracy. <<<—- SIGN UP HERE 

We cannot live on rage alone. We cannot fuel a loving revolution for very long on anger and outrage. Don’t get me wrong, rage is a powerful fuel when used correctly. But you can’t sustain it for weeks and months without it corroding your soul.

So I’m keeping my rage. But I’m also pouring in other powerful energies– gratitude, determination, perseverance, and most of all, BLISS.

Why bliss?

Because blissful women are fierce.

They laugh at BS instead of crying. They gear up instead of backing down. Their hearts are huge and they can pull others into their fierce kind embrace. And they are UNSTOPPABLE.

We are going to set ourselves up to be fierce advocates for a better world.

We decide right now that we will fuel ourselves to be strong and fierce and joyful and loving, because we are in this for the long haul.

We conspire so that by the end of the month we will be stronger, not weaker.

Because what I know is that at the very moment I will most need to return to the practices that center me is also the very moment I will be LEAST ABLE TO REMEMBER THEM.

Because when I need it most, I am also most incapable of making it happen.

So together we conspire.  We won’t just make it through– we will triumph.  We won’t just stagger across the finish line into March, we’ll stride across with our inner wells filled right up, fiercer and brighter than ever.
For the 28 days of February, I will send out a tiny little daily missive to my co-conspirators that reminds us who we are and what is true.  (A funny thing– I wrote them, but I will also READ them every day because I always write what I most need to hear.)  I will get plenty of sleep.  I will drink lots of water.  I will make my bed every morning and put on fierce clothes and always wear earrings and perfume, even on the days that I also spray on a little dragon fire too.  I will buy more flowers than usual and write more letters to politicians than usual.  I will do these things because I know that they help. We will fill ourselves up with bliss, and then we’ll spray that shit ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Join me for The Bliss Conspiracy— we start next Wednesday!!

much love,


P.S. Already signed up? Please spread the word! I’m so fired up about this because I know it can help empower the wise women!

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I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives. I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.

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