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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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Comforting rituals for hard times

Life Is Hard

I’ll be honest, I feel pretty ill and haggard right now.

Here’s how you know I’m truly sick–

a) I couldn’t understand why people are knitting “pussy hats” with ears on them,

b) I postponed the Wise Women Book Club, even though we’re discussing Love Warrior, the greatest book of the century, and it’s something I have been sososososososososo excited about (don’t worry, we will definitely reschedule– stay tuned)

c) I missed the wreath-making workshop where I was going to make my own wilderness-inspired holiday wreath while sipping Veuve Clicquot and eating red velvet cupcakes.

So sick.

But the worst part is the urgency in my head.

I am not supposed to get sick.

I do not have time for this shit.

I have parenting to do and a business to run and a revolution to rumble and dear god have you seen that Save The Children commercial about the Syrian children???? 

What the fuck, body, you think we have time to LIE DOWN?!?!?!?!

Apparently it’s non-negotiable. Says my body.

So here I am, kvetching and bitching that I’m laid up, even complaining to you about it, dear reader, when I suddenly realized that feeling so awful had forced me to gather quite the magical collection of comforting rituals around myself.

And then I remembered that many of us, for all sorts of reasons *cough cough election*, are feeling like all we can do is LIE THE FUCK DOWN even as the warrior part of us clamors to send us ever forward.

Here’s the thing. Even epic fucking badasses need to rest sometimes. 

Because remember, we are in this for the long haul. We are going to be steady fierce kind love warriors long after most people have burned themselves out with indignation and outrage in a big dramatic but ultimately useless fiery burst.

So we need to learn how to sustain ourselves, nurture ourselves, and comfort ourselves. The Danes call this concept hygge, and yesterday I pulled my copy of Brigid Schulte’s marvelous book Overwhelm off the shelf and re-read that section again. You see, happiness researchers believe that one important reason why Denmark is consistently ranked the happiest nation in the world is because they place a high value on creating a sense of cozy–even sacred–respite and nurture.

Stopping to refuel isn’t a selfish luxury. It’s how we keep fighting the good fight for YEARS on end.

So don’t discount the simple comforts, dearheart. They might be powerful EFBA allies in disguise.

My Magical Collection of Comforting Rituals for EFBAs:


in a mug

wrapped in a blanket

wearing fuzzy socks

light a candle

or a fire

listen to music

look at a children’s book

gaze out a window

take a nap

watch a tearjerker

give away $

express gratitude

inhale fresh flowers

eat soup

look up at the night sky

go to bed early

~tweak according to taste

These are some of my favorites, and I’d love to hear yours too– tag me on Instagram or Facebook, yes?

We will keep on the good fight together. Even if today the good fight looks like curling up in a blanket. We know you’re just playing the long game…like an EFBA.*

much love,


 *epic fucking badass

Just 7 minutes, because you're absurdly busy. 7 minutes to clear your mind and refresh your spirit. 7 minutes to thank your fierce tender holy sacred tired body. 7 minutes that'll leave you centered, grounded, & clear-- like the epic fucking badass you are.

a free grounding meditation

take 7 minutes for your heart

& come home to yourself

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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives. I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.

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Sustenance for the journey -- notes from a fellow
traveler to remind you of your own magic.