– by Nik McArthur

Here’s the thing.  Loving Anna Kunnecke is the very best thing to ever happen in my world.  She is everything.  All the things.  She is AHHH!!!! Seriously I can’t tell you enough how good she has made my world.

Also SHE MAKES ME CRAZY!

This sounds like I’m exaggerating for dramatic effect but it’s true.  All the things I love most about her also make my head hurt a little bit.  She makes me a little bit stabby in the very best way…. is there a best way?  I’m deciding there is, so it’s true.

She is dreamy and creative.  She makes everything beautiful.  She looks at the world in an entirely different way than my Type A mind does. Like maybe the opposite way.

I get stressed out if we aren’t going to be 3-5 minutes early for every commitment. She literally has a mild panic attack about the wasted 3-5 minutes of time and rattles off all the other things she could be doing that would have just taken her 3 minutes to complete.  Then I tell her that her sense of time is a delusion and that it does not actually take 3 minutes to paint your nails.  She says “really? hmmm well this one time it did! I know it.”

She keeps this paper folded up in her purse with her, her Compass. It cracks me up the 15 times a day she unfolds it and crosses things off.  But I’ve seen the black hole of distraction she get sucked down without it.

Her lists, they stress me out beyond belief. When I see all the things that have to be done in a day my mind can’t help but self-destruct. But for her? Without those lists of seemingly simple tasks like: “post on Facebook to my friends about having lunch” she won’t remember ANYthing.  My mind does not need a list to tell me to talk to my friends.  We do not share the same type of mind.

I like to underestimate the number of things I do in a day.  I like to trick myself into believing the day wasn’t quite so big and bad and overwhelming as it sometimes is.  If she let her brain believe that then the day literally might not happen. She might start by drinking tea and snuggling the kids and never move from there.

I, my internet friends who I’m now sharing my life with, am not this way.  I am clean and minimalist and I like things to look good but at the end of the day it’s all about efficiency.  All my rules and procedures are in place because that’s the most efficient and thus the right way to do things.  I don’t often get distracted.  I can tune out most of the background noise and I work well with strict deadlines and chaos.  I don’t need a list.  I keep one in my head.  I fail at using my calendar because well it’s more work to remember to put it in the calendar than it is to just remember it in the first place.  I am naturally on time.  I move at twice the speed she does.  While she is thinking about the things we need to do I’ve done them.  We are different kinds of beasts. Lots of people would say that her way is inferior.  I know she wishes she did things faster and more efficiently naturally. I know she wishes her mind wasn’t so distracted by shiny things but I don’t. I love the way her mind works.

I don’t tell you this to out her.  I tell you this because I bet that if you’re here reading this missive that it’s more likely that your brain works more like hers than like mine.  I tell you this because it’s likely you spend a significant amount of time spinning your wheels, when just a few seemingly little systems could change how you show up in the world.

How something as simple as writing down what you should be doing and when you should do it will have you actually accomplishing tasks one after another instead of just touching each task but never finishing them.

I tell you this because I want you to know that the way your brain works is pretty fucking fantastic.  That I can’t create the way she can.  That I don’t know how to get lost in the awesome shit this world has to offer the way she does.  I think that she has a larger capacity to soak up joy and experiences than I do.  To get lost in all the little wonders this world has to offer.  I bet you do too.

In saying that, I’m still so fucking thankful that she has created these systems to keep her world under control.  Hell, to take fucking charge of her world. Because without them, she could get lost in dreamy la-la land.  I’ve seen it.  It’s adorable, in that crazy making sort of way. Without these systems, she wouldn’t have the business or the creative life she has, and we sure wouldn’t have the almost smoothly running home that we do.

So just know that when she says “Without my systems I’d be a total mess” it’s actually the truth. That woman can get lost in her own mind faster and longer than anyone I’ve ever met. But she has the systems, she uses them, and from what I’ve seen, they really do work.

Also, you should see her lingerie drawer. There are some places where I’m pretty damn happy she’s not a minimalist.