I’ve been in a birthday bubble of bliss… but also in deep grief and rage over Ferguson. I didn’t think it was useful to spew that on you all, so I have kept quiet.

Last night I received an email calling me out. She pointed out that as a white person in this country, it is my responsibility to speak out. She’s absolutely right.

I have been struggling to say something that would be helpful; that wouldn’t add to the rage and fury and divisiveness.

This isn’t about individuals, it’s about a broken system that leaves people feeling like violence is the only choice they have at any given moment. This system is everywhere, not just in Ferguson, and it touches us all whether we benefit or suffer from it.

We’ve inherited a crazy mess: the horrific history of institutionalized racism in this country and deeply embedded cultural beliefs about gender, poverty, and violence.

Thankfully, we’ve also inherited a legacy of people who stand up for justice and compassion.

As a mother and a human, I want ALL of our children to grow up in a world that is safe and just and free. That world is going to have to come from inside us, not from somewhere out there.

Glennon Melton at Momastery wrote something that helped me today: our first job is to make our hearts wide open doors. To love the ones we don’t easily love. I would add that to do that, we might have to start with those parts of ourselves that we don’t love: the angry one, the one who wants to give up, the one who’s full of blame and judgment and excuses.

This is hard. And totally, totally worth doing.

And for all of you with wide open hearts, I give thanks today.

And now I’m going to go celebrate this day with the biggest heart I possibly can. Much love.

Here’s Glennon’s post.
Here’s some compassion and practical advice from The Bloggess.
Here are mothers talking about what it’s like for their African American sons.
Here’s what white people can do.