2. Make everyone around you happy first.
Before you let yourself be happy, please make sure all the people around you feel good first. Cajole, urge, pressure, manipulate– whatever it takes for THEM to feel ok, so that you can then feel good too.
3. Wait until you have time.
You’re so busy right now! Who has time for bliss? Wait until things slow down– maybe next week, maybe when you retire– maybe when you’re hooked up to tubes and beeping machines and you have a nice wide open swath of time.
4. Lose five pounds.
This one’s really important; before you let yourself experience pleasure, you want to make sure that the body experiencing it is perfect. So go do that workout you hate, and chew through a lot of tasteless green virtuous things, so that you can be worthy of feeling good at some undefined point in the future.
5. Complete ‘The Big Thing’ you know you’re here to do
Maybe it’s that book you want to write, or the business you want to start, or the big global problem you want to solve. In the meantime, hold off on living your life fully; stay in that place of less-than, of not-enough and maybe-someday.
You realize that this is all the most pernicious, hellacious, cruel bullshit, right?!?!?!
But we do this to ourselves all the freaking time.
I’ll feel good WHEN. I’ll have fun AFTER. I’ll allow myself pleasure LATER.
Stop waiting! Let yourself come alive now, in all your glorious imperfection.
The irony is, my research shows that regular doses of bliss will actually help you get all those things you want.
You become more focused, productive, and make better decisions when you’re rested, peaceful, and curious.
The people around you are happier and lighter when you focus on your own joy– not just because joy is contagious, but because your daughters, underlings, and nieces are watching you to see how to be an adult woman.
When you stop for bliss, time stops being a grinding swirling panicked churn and opens itself up into moments; moments to be savored, tasted, and enjoyed.
Your body will be more delectable, desirable, and unmissable when you dress it and touch it with great love and affection.
You’re more likely to be useful and of service and brave enough to do The Big Thing when you’re fully engaged and on fire already.
Those are my findings. But honestly? Don’t take my word for it.
Try it out yourself. Do it for science!