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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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My sister got married. To her college degree.



Today, I have tales from the Kunnecke Files.

This past week my family was in town, so in quick succession we celebrated my daughter’s birthday, Father’s Day, and my brother’s birthday. To top that off, one of my favorite coach friends was in town and we held a mother blessing for a dear friend who’s ripe with child.  AND, because things were clearly a little dull, my sister got married.  To her college degree.

Yup.  Think backyard wedding, white dress and bouquet, for richer and poorer.  It was pretty much the BEST thing I have ever witnessed.

Standing in the backyard, holding a hydrangea leaf as I stood there while my sister spoke her sacred vows (I was the Crone of Honor; my brother was Best Golfer) I had a poignant moment.

We were laughing so hard people cried: there was a Processional Of Much Seriousness,  plus possibly a poem, plus Giddy Rapture and Hugs (it was on the program and everything), plus of course ritual watermelon bashing, and I suddenly realized– oh my gosh, here we all are, right now.  We will remember this moment our whole lives.  (How could we forget?  Bitchy Kitty #2 stealing a hot dog wasn’t even close to the funniest thing that happened that day.)

I want more of that saturated feeling of presence.  

My little girl was one year older, and my ‘little’ sister was blooming so gorgeously in front of me, and suddenly it all seemed to be going so fast; I wanted to cram in more celebrations, more sunny afternoons, more cruel pinata massacres.  I wanted to make more magic for my daughter while she is still little enough to think I am not terminally uncool.  I want to keep laughing my head off with these sweet, kooky, nutty beloved people right up until the last possible moment.

In short, I had the most simple of realizations; I want to create more deliberate joy in my life. 

This coming week in the Queen Sweep Master Class we’re working on adding rest, downtime, and more joy into our lives, so I’ve been thinking more than usual about joy.  I realized that I’ve gotten pretty good about the rest part, but had gotten lackadaisical about consciously welcoming outrageous laughter and bounteous delight into my world.

It’s not hard; look at 2-year-olds!  The important part is just remembering to do it.  And the thing is, our celebrations were not elaborate, unless you count the complicated thing my mom and little girl did with strawberries, cream, and a pastry bag.  Some of the best moments involved only a watermelon, a stick, and a blindfold.  Red embroidery thread and sage played a featured role.

But humor and affection were the main ingredients.

So this week I’m musing on celebrations.  I’m thinking about Solstice, harvest moons, fairy rings. There’s Setsubun, that great Japanese holiday where three people put on monster masks and everyone else pelts them with red beans, chanting “Monsters out, good things IN!“– I mean, I live in Portland, we could totally swing that!  I want to start celebrating more things the way I celebrate peonies and the way my family does Christmas and graduation weddings.  How amazing would it be if every month, every day, had a small or large thread of romance and whimsy in it?

So this week, won’t you please tell me on Facebook, or by hitting reply to this email– what are your favorite celebrations?  Large and small, holy and naughty, I would really love to hear them! I want to brew up some magical plans, and I would be delighted to hear your suggestions.

much love, 


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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives. I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.

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Sustenance for the journey -- notes from a fellow
traveler to remind you of your own magic.