Have I mentioned that I’m scared of everything? 

Indeed.  One of my clients told me this week that she didn’t believe me, but it’s true– I’m a total chickenshit.

Which means, ironically, that I have a lot of practice being brave.  Since EVERYthing scares me, I have to practice being a bad-ass on a daily basis just to get through life.

As you’re reading this, I’m at Brand Camp.  This is the world’s kookiest business conference, where ‘business conference’ is code for the best summer camp of your life + ferris wheel + frolicking.

There are many things about this that scare the pants off me. 

Like which pants should I pick?  What if I pick the wrong ones, and I’m cold?  Or I pick my favorite ones and everyone but me can clearly see that they’re mom jeans?  And what about mosquitos, and ticks, and lyme disease and SNAKES?!?!!?  And also splinters.  And sunburn.  And picking up the rental car, which is right up there with having to call the insurance company.

By the time you’re reading this, I’ll probably be on the ferris wheel singing Kumbayah, but I’m writing this a week early, and I will tell you something:

Right now, I am NERVOUS.

See, I’m one of the speakers at Brand Camp.

And even after all these times on stage, all these talks given, I still get fluttery.

That reminds me of a conversation I once had with a venerable old actor in his seventies. (In a former life, I was a professional actor.)  We were standing in the wings, getting ready to go onstage to do a scene together.  My palms were sweaty, I had to pee, and I thought I might throw up.

“When does the stage fright go away?” I whispered.

He laughed.  “If you stop being afraid, you won’t be any good.”  

He went on to say that if I stopped being afraid, I also wouldn’t have any fun.  I pondered his words for a long time, because I didn’t think it was fun at ALL to want to die every night before going on stage.

But now I think I know what he meant.  He was telling me to play to my edge.  To go beyond the things that are comfortable and go out into the wilds of adventure.

Interestingly enough, the butterflies never did go away.  I just stopped minding them.  I got very comfortable doing something that scared me, over and over and over again.

The fear didn’t go away, but I got OK with doing things scared.  

This has served me well, and led to some great adventures.  (Like the time I BOUGHT A NEW PICNIC COOLER. And the time I HOSTED A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR SIX-YEAR-OLDS.  You think I jest, but I don’t.)

I gave a talk a few years ago about how to turn your fear into fuel.  It’s ostensibly about public speaking– about how to get up the courage to tell your story even if you’re scared shitless– but the truth is, the same process applies to your fear about anything that scares you.  Your fear can paralyze you, or you can turn it into fuel that will take you to places that thrill you with delight, (even if they also scare you).  I highly recommend the latter.

You can watch that video here.

And next week I’m sure to have some pretty delightful shenanigans to report.

Butterflies included.

much love, 

Anna