We wrapped up the Bliss deep dive intensive this week.  Here’s a strange thing: even though it’s blissful, intentionally marinating in joy can also be kind of uncomfortable.

Weird, right?

Many of us believe, on some subconscious level, that if we experience too much full-on-laugh-out-loud-liquid-gold joy, then the great scales of justice will swing and deliver us a painful body blow.

And so when we get really joyful, a tiny little scared part of us gets very nervous.

When I was in the round pen with the horse a couple of weeks ago in Arizona, this is what happened to me.  I had asked to horse to run, to walk, to canter– and it was doing it!  The blur of the beautiful chestnut coat was shimmering around me, the rich smell of horse manure was filling up my nostrils, the sound of those hooves was tickling my ears, and my heart was so full of bliss that I could literally feel myself stretching bigger.  I felt ten feet tall.

And then something crimped.

My heart started pounding.  The horse faltered, looked at me, slowed down.

I tried to figure out what had happened, and here it was, the simplest thing.

My own joy almost scared me.

It felt SO GOOD, being in that pen with the horse, feeling my own strong energy showing it what to do, that it freaked me out.

Naturally, the horse responded to my wavering with its own waver– and there it was, the metaphor of my life playing out right there.  Afterward I talked to Martha about it, and we discussed the mystery of how so much of our work here in physical bodies is to learn to tolerate the discomfort of joy.  (A poet once called this “bearing the beams of love.”)

What about you?  Where in your own life are you almost afraid to savor how good something is?  What would happen if you let yourself go ahead and feel the fullness of that delight, deliciousness, pleasure, and love?

(I don’t think the scales of justice will come smack you.  Actually, no, I’m pretty sure something will indeed smack you at some point, because we are human, and pain is part of our experience here.  But I don’t believe that pain comes as a punishment for joy.  And you cannot avoid pain by shying away from pleasure.)

In my experience, when we open ourselves up to the whole singing thrumming loving vibration of joy, extraordinary things happen.

People send water to a place that needs it.
A hilarious video gets made.
A perfect holiday ritual becomes a tradition.
A simple fundraiser becomes a madly gleeful celebration.
Little moments of your life take on a holy sheen.

So that’s my assignment for myself this weekend– to tolerate the discomfort of joy however it shows up.

I’d love for you to join me.