This involves doing some really tough field research, like getting a massage.  Tough gig, right?
Here’s the thing though: even something as blissful as a massage can be kind of a bummer if you’re lying there on the table watching the expensive minutes tick by in your head while torturing yourself with thoughts of the awful meeting you have coming up.

Before you begin inviting bliss into your life, you might need to do a little housekeeping.

I’m not talking about dust bunnies and purging file cabinets, though that’s good too– I’m talking about a queen sweep through your commitments.

Now is a great time to do this, because the holiday requests/parties/invitations are about to start rolling in.  So before the flood hits, it’s great to get clear on what you like to do…and what you’re just doing because you didn’t know how to graciously refuse.

Here’s a handy guide to weeding out your commitments:

• If it makes your stomach clench, say no.  
• If your throat feels tight, say no. 
• If you’d honestly rather scrub floors, say no. 
• If it makes your body sag or feel weak, say no. 
• If it sounds delicious, say yes. 
• If it makes you grin, say yes. 
• If it sounds a little indulgent and fun, say yes. 
• If you feel expansive and light and buoyant, say yes!!! 

See the pattern there?

If this seems irresponsible, indulgent, flighty, and selfish, I understand.  And we all do a few things we don’t enjoy doing but we do for love.  (Even if you feel like you’re doing it for money, I’d suggest that you’re doing it to feed and house someone you love, whether that’s a child or your own beloved self.)

But consider this: every time you say yes to something that’s a drag, you’re unavailable for something else that would light you up, that would use your true talents, that would bring more joy and love into the world.

Saying ‘no’ is a big part of setting strong boundaries so you can feel safe enough to show up as your truest, most loving self.

The ‘No word’ can be difficult for many of us, so I created a little cheat sheet for the women in my Practical Magic for Secret Mystics program.  And I’ve attached it to this mail as a little gift for you, too.  I hope it makes you laugh, and I hope it’s useful.  There’s a lot of beauty and bliss in the world just waiting to be welcomed in, so it’s a good idea to make room for it.