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I’ve got five kids, I’m a queer feminist, and I just might be the only life coach in the world who doesn’t believe in the Law of Attraction.

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When to push through your fear…and when to run.

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“I knew it in my gut,” we say.  “I just had a bad feeling.”  Gavin de Becker writes in Protecting The Gift that this little frisson of fear is one of the most powerful intuitive gifts we have.  We override our animal instinct at our peril, and we should nurture it in our children.  But sometimes fear keeps us trapped in safe but narrow lives, far from our dreams.  How can you tell which kind of fear you’re feeling?  Martha Beck explains the difference with this metaphor: Imagine standing on a high dive.  It’s very, very high.  Now look down.  Are you about to dive into cold, clear water–or into toxic waste?  One will feel terrifying but clean.  The other will feel sickening, nauseating.  That icky feeling is a clear warning–a No–from every instinctual part of you.  Honor that wisdom.  And if the situation twinkling far below feels scary but thrilling, take the plunge!

This was first published in Being A Broad magazine, where I write a monthly column called Advice For Renegades.  Reproduced with permission.

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I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives. I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.

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