You are all the magic you need.Many years ago I found myself sobbing on a bathroom floor.

I was in my early twenties, a devout Christian, and unhappily married.

I felt impossibly trapped.

I believed 100% that I had to stay in my marriage, no matter how miserable I was.

I remember setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner, carefully laying out the beautiful gold-rimmed wedding china, the sterling silver flatware, and my grandmother’s crystal goblets.

I can’t leave, I told myself dully, because look at all these wedding presents.

Now in retrospect this seems ridiculous beyond the pale.

Wedding china???

But I know lots of people who think this way.  They look around at the physical trappings of a life that no longer fits, and they believe that they could never change all that.

The house.  The car.  The stuff in the garage.  The investments.  The corner office.

It all seems so immovable, so heavy.

More than you could possibly move with your just your wistful soul.

But here is what I’ve learned, from my own life and from my favorite clients:

The truth is, you are a mighty force.  

Yes, you. 

Even you depressed, or postpartum, or in debt, or feeling sheepish– you.

You have more power in your pinky than any of those physical things.  You can make it all move with the power of your decisions.

Lots of people talk about the power of intention, but Christine Kane says that decision is intention with LEGS.

Now hear me: I am not telling you to walk away from your life.  (Unless you want to.)

But stop believing the story that tells you that you’re bound to things being the way they are. 

You can change it all in a heartbeat by making a new decision.

I finally walked away from that marriage, that faith, and that wedding china.

(I eventually got the wedding china back.)

And then I went on to do so many of the things I believed I couldn’t do– wear red lipstick, have a baby, be a working actress– but those are stories for another time.

I still grouse about the physical world.  It moves so slowly, compared to how lightning-fast my imagination doe!

But I never believe the illusion that it’s more powerful than me.

So this week, try going around imagining that you have the power to change anything you want.  

Just pretend; play-act like a kid.  Feel how you might walk, talk, dress, and speak if you were someone who was totally in charge of her choices and took total responsibility for the decisions she made.

You will be such a badass.

You may find that when you experience yourself as all-powerful, it turns out that you wouldn’t actually change a thing: either because you like it the way it is, or because doing so would lead to a lawsuit or financial ruin.

Okay!  Good choice!  When you acknowledge that you are making a free choice, rather than being a victim of your fate, you get your power back.  Boom.

You don’t need a magic wand, sweetheart; you are all the power you need.


How to set boundaries when you're a kind, empathic human.

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