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Why Being an Entrepreneur Brings Up Your Shit (and What To Do About It)

Leadership

I posted a question to my Facebook wall the other day, “What brings up your shit? Drop it here (pun intended).”

I thought it was a cheeky question meant to invoke some thoughtful responses.

Not so much. It incited a minor hate fest actually—other people really bring up people’s shit I discovered.


One Facebooker decided to make an example out of me, “People who use four letter words in their Facebook posts so they can seem young, hip and laid back :)”

Ouch!

Now I’ll be honest, I’m an approval addict in recovery but social rejection of any kind still stings, even a slap on the wrist made in response to a not very well thought out Facebook query.

The truth is that during the hey day of my approval addiction, I would have NEVER used a four letter word on my wall –hell no, it might offend someone!

Sure I made use of four letter words in private but in public I was a regular upstanding citizen, I was.

In the early days of my career as an entrepreneur I did the same. I carefully crafted a persona of the highest professional integrity.

I didn’t crusade about why gay couples should absolutely yes be entitled to the same rights as straight ones even though I felt so to my core (It might upset any fundamentalist Christians subscribers after all!)

I decided against offering coaching packages with my talented friend Dena the astrologer even though it filled me with glee at the thought (potential clients might think I’m too woo-woo after all).

I would never in a million years create a video called Shit Approval Addicts Say spoofing myself (it would absolutely shatter my credibility after all).

And as a result I successfully avoided a lot of criticism, judgment and rejection.

I took a profound leap of faith when I decided to become a life coach and make a go at this thing called entrepreneurship.

I did it because I 100 % knew I had finally found my true work in the world — my mission.

But as a continued to water myself down to maintain my professional, credible and worthy of absolutely every client who might hire me exterior, I noticed something…

My job had gotten really boring, I wasn’t making much money, and I didn’t jive with my clients.

My problem was I wasn’t taking any risks.

Cheryl Strayed author of the memoir WILD said this the other day in a radio interview:

“When I feel afraid I know I’m doing my work.”

Which is exactly why being an entrepreneur is supposed to bring up your shit. The truth is your work as an entrepreneur requires you to face fear each and every day.

To make an impact, to make sure you are not rendered invisible in a packed like sardines marketplace, to attract the people you yearn to serve, you have to risk and be willing to experience rejection, judgment and criticism by allowing the Entire Known Universe see you.

This is not hypothetical. I repeat, you have to risk and be willing to experience rejection; judgment and criticism by allowing the Entire Known Universe see you.

You have to be you. If you curse, curse. If you cavort with astrologers, cavort. If you get off on taking video of yourself, videotape (wait that didn’t come out right).

Because otherwise that leap of faith you took to become an entrepreneur in the first place is eventually going to be for nothing.

It’s not just one leap of faith you see. Each day you go to work you will be challenged to take leaps.

Otherwise…

You’ll get bored and you are boring — Your message falls flat, you don’t attract clients who pay you real money to do your work in the world.

So here are a things to keep in mind when your work inevitably brings up your shit:

1.  Realize that there is no such thing as a bad personality, only a stifled one.

Your personality (the one you have been hiding under a façade of likability) is absolutely magnetic to the people you are supposed to serve.

Yes you will also have to put up with the occasional Facebook slap in the wrist, more than a few unsubscribes and any other garden variety of hater.

The big question is do you choose the discomfort of a little disapproval or do you choose regret that you could not do your work in the world?

2. Stop measuring success through the eyes of other people.

Being an entrepreneur is sort of like being a mother, it takes a few years to get used to and there a million people out there trying to tell you how to do it the “right” way.

And the same thing I learned as a mom is the same thing I learned as an entrepreneur, you have to trust yourself.

3. Give people permission to judge you

Like my own mom used to say, “no matter what you do, not everybody is going to like you.” So stop sacrificing YOU to be likeable to THEM.

Keep in mind that some people are going to judge you. Stop trying to control the inevitable! When you do, you allow your true self space to come out and this is how you magnetize to you the people you are meant to serve.

4. Get used to feeling scared. A lot.

I now realize that it is that place in my business when I’m doing something that feels a bold, different, and well, kind of out there BUT ALSO REALLY EXCITING that I’ve hit my sweet spot. This is when I make the greatest impact and get the biggest results. And it always, always scares me shitless.

5. Think of being an entrepreneur as the most lucrative form of therapy available.

Because it is. Being a successful entrepreneur builds resilience. The only way to succeed is in this day and age is to stand out and the only way to do that is to just be yourself, grumpy face book comments and all. The more you are okay in your own skin the more you will be able deal with the haters.

So expect the scared. Welcome it. You know you’re on to something big when you feel it.

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Amy Pearson is a Master Certified Martha Beck life coach and coach mentor. She helps women lead their lives from a place of self-love and confidence so they can play big in the world.

Sign up for her upcoming free training, The Approval Trap – The Secret Reason You Can’t Raise Your Rates, Attract Your Ideal Client, or Create Kick Ass Results in Your Biz and Life (And How to Fix it Right Now) by clicking here


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I write things for women with big, gorgeous, COMPLICATED lives. I help women become epic fucking badasses… but I still retain my right to cry at every diaper commercial ever made.

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