These days are anything but boring.  I am bombarded with decisions, tasks, uncertainty, and heartache.  It’s intense, it’s confusing, it’s terrifying.  And here is the gift of that:

I am wide awake.  Life with all its raw urgency is surging around me, and I am open to it in a way I haven’t been since I was a teenager.

There are plenty of moments when I want to crumple up in a ball and cry.  And many more moments when I want to fling my arms out and crow at the simple joy the days bring: 

Sunshine.  That dappled warmth on the skin is as seductive and melting as molten gold. 

Flowers.  Peeling back their petals so bravely and gushing beauty so potent it almost speaks. 

Clothes dryers.  Big American ones that toss the clothes so lightly that they actually dry unwrinkled.  This is a miracle, people.   

Rain.  Cold sudden splots of water startling us, pelting us alert and laughing. 

A car.  Of my own!  And red!  With keys that beep!  That I can wheel groceries up to!  Oh, it’s delight. 

I’m reeling with the richness all around me. But the thing is, it’s been there all along.  It isn’t that the world suddenly grew more beautiful– it’s just that I started paying closer attention. And I could feel the hum underneath, as steady as a heartbeat, of my life whispering me to wake up, pay attention, be in my own skin.  So I tuned in.  And I wrote down what it was saying. It felt like I was getting love letters from my own life.   And your life is whispering to you, too.

Darling, I’ve missed you. Do something for me.

You dear, dear soul.  Will you please let up on yourself?  If only you would find your foibles and faults as amusing as I do–these are hilarious stories to laugh at, dearling, not to be worried over. You are just fine.  You are magnificent.  Stop trying to fix yourself! 

love,
your life